I stumbled across an old diary entry and decided to share it. I wrote it years ago, and reading it now feels strange but sweet (and slightly embarrassing).It was written when I started my first job, just weeks after I moved out on my own, at a time when I was dating someone and unknowingly crossing paths with the person I’d later marry. Apparently, the universe was already writing its Hallmark script.
-----------------------------------------------------
1-18-2004, very late, wayyyyyy past midnight.
dear diary,
just got home and i still smell like popcorn and my feet hurt sooo bad.
i’m exhausted but i don’t want to forget today so i’m writing this now.
today was my first day working at the movie theater.
my first job ever.
which is kinda crazy.
i was so nervous i thought i was gonna mess everything up. my hands were shaking and i didn’t even know how to count coins (why is that even a thing??). i kept thinking i was gonna be short at the end of the night and get in trouble on my first day. seriously.
my stepbrother was there tonight since he’s one of the managers, so that helped a little. he showed me what to do and then introduced me to this filipino guy named tommy. he’s really nice. they’re good friends, so of course my stepbrother made him train me. i swear that wasn’t random. not complaining though.
tommy was really patient with me even though i kept asking the same questions. i tried really hard to sell super combos to everyone — large popcorn + large soda. i’m broke so I figured I should try to sell as many as possible, for commission. Some people bought them and some didn’t, but when they did I felt proud like I actually knew what I was doing.
at the beginning of my shift i was freaking out. by the end i wasn’t anymore. i actually felt okay. good, even.
when i left tonight, i felt really happy. and free. like… really free.
like i could finally breathe again.
it felt different than anything i’ve felt before. like i was doing something on my own. like i wasn’t stuck anymore. i have my own job now. making my own money. no one watching me every second. no one telling me who i’m supposed to be. no one is threatening me. no one is controlling me.
i’m really tired and i have work again soon, but i’m glad i did this.
today was a good day.
listening to music right now and just thinking.
i don’t know. i just feel… happy and free.
- flipchicfromda206 aka lilbehbehboo
currently listening to 100 days by Five For Fighting
-----------------------------------------------------
💖A quiet hooray to the girl who didn’t know what was coming yet.
No comments:
Post a Comment